Six Steps To Stay Out Of A Situationship and Find A Relationship

Is it utterly impossible to find something serious in the era of hookup culture? If all the dating scene offers is "wyd" texts at three in the morning, it can seem hopeless. It may feel like no one is looking for a meaningful connection anymore but here are the six steps to a more serious relationship and not a situationship.

Step Number 1.

Don't waste your time chasing after someone who doesn't give you the attention

you want. It is easy to fall victim to the notion that "the chase" is something to strive for. Unless you are looking for something serious, any person who leads you on with kind words and does not back it up with actions is likely not the right candidate. So if you realize you’re putting in more effort and feel like you’re having to chase this boy or girl,

it’s time to cut them loose. If they were looking for a relationship they wouldn’t be playing mind games with you.

Step Number 2.

Be open minded with everyone you meet. Don’t go tunnel vision on one guy or

girl, keep your options open for a bit. Even though a guy or girl you meet may not tick all the boxes, don't close the door on them just because he gave you the “ick” by wearing sandals to a party. Get to know them and see if you can build a connection, you might have more in common than you thought. Maybe just maybe the sandals will grow on you.

Step Number 3.

Stop asking to hang out and set the intention of a date. Now this may seem scary

but it’s the best way to weed out the guys or girls that don’t want something more. If you ask someone on a date it’s showing that you actually want to get to know one another beyond just attraction. A date sets a more serious tone for whatever event you two plan to go to together; instead of just hanging out which can come across as more casual.

Step Number 4.

Set your expectations from the beginning on the kind of relationship you want

and how you want to be treated. If this person is not acting the way you want them to then they are not worth your time. For example if they are not responding for days, leave them on read. If they ask why you have suddenly disconnected, you can explain

that this behavior is not something you want to continue, and then you move on if they are not able to change. Don’t put up with them leading you on!

Step Number 5.

You need to love you before you can love anyone else. Take time to appreciate

yourself. Do one act of self love each and every day. Go for a nice walk, buy yourself your favorite coffee, or put on a face mask. It can almost feel like you're dating yourself at times, but it’s important to value yourself.

Step Number 6.

Live in the present moment. Sometimes we fall into the trap of idealizing a person. We want this person to be the one, so we think every smile across the room means something, or them liking your photo means them liking you. Don’t play them up in your head as this great person, see them for who they are. Remember you're awesome too! Daydreaming about them can be fun, but be careful :)

Overall the main way to start looking for something serious is to stop looking outside and start looking inside. The only way anyone can find a real connection is by figuring out what you want and recognizing what you deserve. It’s only once you finally commit to a relationship with yourself that you will be prepared for someone else. While finding something serious may seem impossible, there are other people who want more than just a fling, so be patient and learn to love yourself now because that will make loving someone else so much easier.